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奔跑吧，準(zhǔn)留學(xué)生！論如何與室友相處，對(duì)撕還
馬上一大波中國(guó)留學(xué)生就要作為Freshman開(kāi)始第一年的留學(xué)生活了，有沒(méi)有一點(diǎn)小激動(dòng)呢，但是萬(wàn)萬(wàn)沒(méi)想到，留學(xué)生活可是“水深火熱”哦！
1. 關(guān)于request to be roommates.
美國(guó)好多大學(xué)都是支持學(xué)生在申請(qǐng)宿舍的時(shí)候這樣做的，你可以選擇和上學(xué)之前就認(rèn)識(shí)的好朋友當(dāng)室友. 不得不說(shuō)和之前認(rèn)識(shí)的中國(guó)同學(xué)申請(qǐng)做室友絕對(duì)不是一個(gè)bad option，我甚至后來(lái)也后悔過(guò)當(dāng)時(shí)沒(méi)這么做. 但我知道有好多小朋友都特別想體驗(yàn)一下和美國(guó)同學(xué)當(dāng)室友的感覺(jué)，覺(jué)得這樣既新鮮，又更容易了解一個(gè)新的文化. 我不說(shuō)這是too young too simple，但如果你選擇這么做的話，請(qǐng)一定要做好心理準(zhǔn)備. 因?yàn)槟憧梢运阋幌?，如果你讓學(xué)校隨機(jī)分配室友的話，你室友和你性格和睦、生活作息規(guī)律和你一樣、愛(ài)好興趣相投、個(gè)性你還特喜歡，這些條件都滿足的概率是多少呢？一般的大學(xué)一屆都幾千人，你自己算吧. 所以如果你選擇去接受這樣一個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)，請(qǐng)做好心理準(zhǔn)備，并且做好以下幾個(gè)tips (他們覺(jué)得是本人用血淚換來(lái)的經(jīng)驗(yàn)啊!!)
2. 他那么做是不是故意的？
你睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，你室友半夜回來(lái)，還在放音樂(lè)；你睡著了，他帶好幾個(gè)朋友進(jìn)來(lái)有說(shuō)有笑，還TM吃披薩；你學(xué)習(xí)的時(shí)候，他一定要打電話么？有時(shí)候你真的懷疑他是不是故意讓你不舒服的，請(qǐng)永遠(yuǎn)記住：不是. 因?yàn)樽鳛槭矣训脑?，沒(méi)人會(huì)沒(méi)事閑的浪費(fèi)這種能量和經(jīng)歷. 美國(guó)學(xué)生從小的成長(zhǎng)經(jīng)歷讓他們很多人都比較自我，可能好多中國(guó)同學(xué)剛來(lái)的時(shí)候真的很不適應(yīng)，覺(jué)得他非常不忍讓、不懂得考慮別人的感受. 但美國(guó)同學(xué)邏輯不是這樣的，他們會(huì)想：你既然沒(méi)抱怨、沒(méi)跟我說(shuō)不能這樣做，就說(shuō)明你很comfortable with it. 所以千萬(wàn)不要因?yàn)樗麄儾荒茏屇闳萑痰男袨槎x憤填膺、甚至去采取報(bào)復(fù)手段. 這真的是文化的不同，不要因?yàn)椴涣私饩腿udge室友的品行，導(dǎo)致說(shuō)話像吃了槍藥、關(guān)系僵化...
3. 他做了讓你十分不爽的事情，怎么辦？
比如你覺(jué)得室友帶著“異性朋友”回來(lái)留宿，你學(xué)習(xí)的時(shí)候從來(lái)都不考慮要安靜...記住，要微笑...一定要像聊天一樣去抱怨...千萬(wàn)千萬(wàn)不要發(fā)火. 你也千萬(wàn)不要想著一時(shí)忍忍算了，因?yàn)槿绻矣蚜?xí)慣了那么不considerate，他有可能會(huì)覺(jué)得這是應(yīng)該的，因?yàn)槟阋恢睕](méi)抱怨過(guò). 你一定要提出來(lái)，他有什么事讓你不滿了...你如果對(duì)他吵著發(fā)牢騷，他不會(huì)take you serious的...他甚至可能會(huì)覺(jué)得你只是考試沒(méi)考好、心情不好，找找茬，不是理智的交談，所以不會(huì)從內(nèi)心接受你的抱怨. 一定要禮貌、理智的說(shuō)，而不是吵...你可以自己想一下，有人跟你抱怨你所做的啥事，若果他跟你吵的話，你會(huì)聽(tīng)他的么？就算為了面子，也想吵回去，甚至有揍他一頓的沖動(dòng)吧...如果他和顏悅色地跟你說(shuō)呢，你會(huì)好意思不聽(tīng)么？他也一樣...要好好說(shuō)，讓他不好意思不聽(tīng)你的，這也他也會(huì)更尊重和佩服你的理智，而不是讓魔鬼一樣的沖動(dòng)徹底毀掉你的個(gè)人形象...
4. 室友？朋友？
室友一定是你的好朋友嗎？可以告訴你，對(duì)大多數(shù)人來(lái)說(shuō)，沒(méi)這么幸運(yùn)。也許他只是someone who happens to share a room with you. 所以不要對(duì)他的expectation太高. 但college里好多事不是只有兩個(gè)極端的，不是好朋友，就一定要互不相容么，肯定不至于. 如果你沒(méi)那么幸運(yùn)，室友恰好不是你朋友那type的，那就努力和他做一個(gè)關(guān)系很不錯(cuò)的acquitance吧. 平時(shí)沒(méi)什么可聊的，說(shuō)說(shuō)天氣總行吧...就算你倆不是一個(gè)major的，說(shuō)說(shuō)你這周作業(yè)多不多，下周有木有考試啥的總行吧...文化不一樣，跟他說(shuō)說(shuō)中國(guó)啥樣總行吧...有點(diǎn)好吃的，和他分享分享，他會(huì)好意思不讓你用他冰箱么？他甚至下回還會(huì)和你分享吧...當(dāng)然如果你夠幸運(yùn)，和室友就是朋友（我周圍有美國(guó)同學(xué)就做到了，但說(shuō)實(shí)話并不常見(jiàn)...）那你就等著大家羨慕吧，別大一結(jié)束分別得時(shí)候痛哭流涕互不舍得.
5. Conclusion words及本人的經(jīng)歷
反正事情就是這樣，和一個(gè)和你性格、文化、背景十分不一樣的人能成功相處一年（當(dāng)然里面有點(diǎn)磕磕碰碰是一定的），你會(huì)很佩服自己的，這是及有成就感的，可能和CS作業(yè)所有test cases pass的成就感相當(dāng)吧...當(dāng)然request to be roommates的同學(xué)可能就體驗(yàn)不到這種經(jīng)歷帶來(lái)的成就感了. 說(shuō)實(shí)話，就本人的經(jīng)歷，我怎么也沒(méi)想到我現(xiàn)在能和室友關(guān)系還不錯(cuò)，我們倆真是曾經(jīng)對(duì)對(duì)方mean到極致，甚至吵到要對(duì)方搬走的程度. 這一切只是在他過(guò)生日的時(shí)候，我送了他一個(gè)不到5美元的禮物的時(shí)候結(jié)束的，但他很開(kāi)心，現(xiàn)在還天天用我送他的那個(gè)杯子...一句話總結(jié)：要對(duì)他好，好到不好意思反駁你的抱怨，好到不好意思不和你分享他的好吃的...大家大學(xué)生活要給力呀！
下面小編奉上美國(guó)的室友相處之道哦~~美式思維更直接~
1.Be clear from the beginning.
Do you know in advance that you hate it when someone hits the snooze button fifteen times every morning? That you're a neat freak? That you need ten minutes to yourself before talking to anyone after you wake up? Let your roommate know as soon as you can about your little quirks and preferences. It's not fair to expect him or her to pick up on them right away, and communicating what you need is one of the best ways to eliminate problems before they become problems.
2.Address things when they're little.
Is your roommate always forgetting her stuff for the shower, and taking yours? Are your clothes being borrowed faster than you can wash them? Addressing things that bug you while they're still little can help your roommate be aware of something she may not otherwise know. And addressing little things is much easier than addressing them after they've become big.
3.Respect your roommate's stuff.
This may seem simple, but it's probably one of the biggest reasons why roommates experience conflict. Don't think he'll mind if you borrow his cleats for a quick soccer game? For all you know, you just stepped over an uncrossable line. Don't borrow, use, or take anything without getting permission first.
4.Be careful of who you bring into your room -- and how often.
You may love having your study group into your room. But your roommate may not. Be mindful of how often you bring people over. If your roommate studies best in the quiet, and you study best in a group, can you alternate who hits the library and who gets the room?
5.Lock the door and windows.
This may seem like it has nothing to do with roommate relationships, but how would you feel if your roommate's laptop got stolen during the ten seconds it took you to run down the hall? Or vice versa?
6.Be friendly, without expecting to be best friends.
Don't go into your roommate relationship thinking that you are going to be best friends for the time you're at school. It may happen, but expecting it sets both of you up for trouble. You should be friendly with your roommate but also make sure you have your own social circles.
7.Be open to new things.
Your roommate may be from someplace you've never heard of. They may have a religion or lifestyle that is completely different from your own. Be open to new ideas and experiences, especially as it to relates to what your roommate brings into your life. That's why you went to college in the first place, right?!
8.Be open to change.
You should expect to learn and grown and change during your time at school. And the same should happen to your roommate, if all goes well. As the semester progresses, realize things will change for both of you. Be comfortable addressing things that unexpectedly come up, setting new rules, and being flexible to your changing environment.
9.Address things when they're big.
You may not have been totally honest with tip #2. Or you may suddenly find yourself with a roommate who goes wild after being shy and quiet the first two months. Either way, if something gets to be a big problem quickly,deal with it as soon as you can.
10.If nothing else, follow the Golden Rule.
Treat your roommate like you'd like to be treated. No matter what your relationship is at the end of the year, you can take comfort knowing you acted like an adult and treated your roommate with respect.
美國(guó)好多大學(xué)都是支持學(xué)生在申請(qǐng)宿舍的時(shí)候這樣做的，你可以選擇和上學(xué)之前就認(rèn)識(shí)的好朋友當(dāng)室友. 不得不說(shuō)和之前認(rèn)識(shí)的中國(guó)同學(xué)申請(qǐng)做室友絕對(duì)不是一個(gè)bad option，我甚至后來(lái)也后悔過(guò)當(dāng)時(shí)沒(méi)這么做. 但我知道有好多小朋友都特別想體驗(yàn)一下和美國(guó)同學(xué)當(dāng)室友的感覺(jué)，覺(jué)得這樣既新鮮，又更容易了解一個(gè)新的文化. 我不說(shuō)這是too young too simple，但如果你選擇這么做的話，請(qǐng)一定要做好心理準(zhǔn)備. 因?yàn)槟憧梢运阋幌?，如果你讓學(xué)校隨機(jī)分配室友的話，你室友和你性格和睦、生活作息規(guī)律和你一樣、愛(ài)好興趣相投、個(gè)性你還特喜歡，這些條件都滿足的概率是多少呢？一般的大學(xué)一屆都幾千人，你自己算吧. 所以如果你選擇去接受這樣一個(gè)挑戰(zhàn)，請(qǐng)做好心理準(zhǔn)備，并且做好以下幾個(gè)tips (他們覺(jué)得是本人用血淚換來(lái)的經(jīng)驗(yàn)啊!!)
2. 他那么做是不是故意的？
你睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，你室友半夜回來(lái)，還在放音樂(lè)；你睡著了，他帶好幾個(gè)朋友進(jìn)來(lái)有說(shuō)有笑，還TM吃披薩；你學(xué)習(xí)的時(shí)候，他一定要打電話么？有時(shí)候你真的懷疑他是不是故意讓你不舒服的，請(qǐng)永遠(yuǎn)記住：不是. 因?yàn)樽鳛槭矣训脑?，沒(méi)人會(huì)沒(méi)事閑的浪費(fèi)這種能量和經(jīng)歷. 美國(guó)學(xué)生從小的成長(zhǎng)經(jīng)歷讓他們很多人都比較自我，可能好多中國(guó)同學(xué)剛來(lái)的時(shí)候真的很不適應(yīng)，覺(jué)得他非常不忍讓、不懂得考慮別人的感受. 但美國(guó)同學(xué)邏輯不是這樣的，他們會(huì)想：你既然沒(méi)抱怨、沒(méi)跟我說(shuō)不能這樣做，就說(shuō)明你很comfortable with it. 所以千萬(wàn)不要因?yàn)樗麄儾荒茏屇闳萑痰男袨槎x憤填膺、甚至去采取報(bào)復(fù)手段. 這真的是文化的不同，不要因?yàn)椴涣私饩腿udge室友的品行，導(dǎo)致說(shuō)話像吃了槍藥、關(guān)系僵化...
3. 他做了讓你十分不爽的事情，怎么辦？
比如你覺(jué)得室友帶著“異性朋友”回來(lái)留宿，你學(xué)習(xí)的時(shí)候從來(lái)都不考慮要安靜...記住，要微笑...一定要像聊天一樣去抱怨...千萬(wàn)千萬(wàn)不要發(fā)火. 你也千萬(wàn)不要想著一時(shí)忍忍算了，因?yàn)槿绻矣蚜?xí)慣了那么不considerate，他有可能會(huì)覺(jué)得這是應(yīng)該的，因?yàn)槟阋恢睕](méi)抱怨過(guò). 你一定要提出來(lái)，他有什么事讓你不滿了...你如果對(duì)他吵著發(fā)牢騷，他不會(huì)take you serious的...他甚至可能會(huì)覺(jué)得你只是考試沒(méi)考好、心情不好，找找茬，不是理智的交談，所以不會(huì)從內(nèi)心接受你的抱怨. 一定要禮貌、理智的說(shuō)，而不是吵...你可以自己想一下，有人跟你抱怨你所做的啥事，若果他跟你吵的話，你會(huì)聽(tīng)他的么？就算為了面子，也想吵回去，甚至有揍他一頓的沖動(dòng)吧...如果他和顏悅色地跟你說(shuō)呢，你會(huì)好意思不聽(tīng)么？他也一樣...要好好說(shuō)，讓他不好意思不聽(tīng)你的，這也他也會(huì)更尊重和佩服你的理智，而不是讓魔鬼一樣的沖動(dòng)徹底毀掉你的個(gè)人形象...
4. 室友？朋友？
室友一定是你的好朋友嗎？可以告訴你，對(duì)大多數(shù)人來(lái)說(shuō)，沒(méi)這么幸運(yùn)。也許他只是someone who happens to share a room with you. 所以不要對(duì)他的expectation太高. 但college里好多事不是只有兩個(gè)極端的，不是好朋友，就一定要互不相容么，肯定不至于. 如果你沒(méi)那么幸運(yùn)，室友恰好不是你朋友那type的，那就努力和他做一個(gè)關(guān)系很不錯(cuò)的acquitance吧. 平時(shí)沒(méi)什么可聊的，說(shuō)說(shuō)天氣總行吧...就算你倆不是一個(gè)major的，說(shuō)說(shuō)你這周作業(yè)多不多，下周有木有考試啥的總行吧...文化不一樣，跟他說(shuō)說(shuō)中國(guó)啥樣總行吧...有點(diǎn)好吃的，和他分享分享，他會(huì)好意思不讓你用他冰箱么？他甚至下回還會(huì)和你分享吧...當(dāng)然如果你夠幸運(yùn)，和室友就是朋友（我周圍有美國(guó)同學(xué)就做到了，但說(shuō)實(shí)話并不常見(jiàn)...）那你就等著大家羨慕吧，別大一結(jié)束分別得時(shí)候痛哭流涕互不舍得.
5. Conclusion words及本人的經(jīng)歷
反正事情就是這樣，和一個(gè)和你性格、文化、背景十分不一樣的人能成功相處一年（當(dāng)然里面有點(diǎn)磕磕碰碰是一定的），你會(huì)很佩服自己的，這是及有成就感的，可能和CS作業(yè)所有test cases pass的成就感相當(dāng)吧...當(dāng)然request to be roommates的同學(xué)可能就體驗(yàn)不到這種經(jīng)歷帶來(lái)的成就感了. 說(shuō)實(shí)話，就本人的經(jīng)歷，我怎么也沒(méi)想到我現(xiàn)在能和室友關(guān)系還不錯(cuò)，我們倆真是曾經(jīng)對(duì)對(duì)方mean到極致，甚至吵到要對(duì)方搬走的程度. 這一切只是在他過(guò)生日的時(shí)候，我送了他一個(gè)不到5美元的禮物的時(shí)候結(jié)束的，但他很開(kāi)心，現(xiàn)在還天天用我送他的那個(gè)杯子...一句話總結(jié)：要對(duì)他好，好到不好意思反駁你的抱怨，好到不好意思不和你分享他的好吃的...大家大學(xué)生活要給力呀！
1.Be clear from the beginning.
Do you know in advance that you hate it when someone hits the snooze button fifteen times every morning? That you're a neat freak? That you need ten minutes to yourself before talking to anyone after you wake up? Let your roommate know as soon as you can about your little quirks and preferences. It's not fair to expect him or her to pick up on them right away, and communicating what you need is one of the best ways to eliminate problems before they become problems.
2.Address things when they're little.
Is your roommate always forgetting her stuff for the shower, and taking yours? Are your clothes being borrowed faster than you can wash them? Addressing things that bug you while they're still little can help your roommate be aware of something she may not otherwise know. And addressing little things is much easier than addressing them after they've become big.
3.Respect your roommate's stuff.
This may seem simple, but it's probably one of the biggest reasons why roommates experience conflict. Don't think he'll mind if you borrow his cleats for a quick soccer game? For all you know, you just stepped over an uncrossable line. Don't borrow, use, or take anything without getting permission first.
4.Be careful of who you bring into your room -- and how often.
You may love having your study group into your room. But your roommate may not. Be mindful of how often you bring people over. If your roommate studies best in the quiet, and you study best in a group, can you alternate who hits the library and who gets the room?
5.Lock the door and windows.
This may seem like it has nothing to do with roommate relationships, but how would you feel if your roommate's laptop got stolen during the ten seconds it took you to run down the hall? Or vice versa?
6.Be friendly, without expecting to be best friends.
Don't go into your roommate relationship thinking that you are going to be best friends for the time you're at school. It may happen, but expecting it sets both of you up for trouble. You should be friendly with your roommate but also make sure you have your own social circles.
7.Be open to new things.
Your roommate may be from someplace you've never heard of. They may have a religion or lifestyle that is completely different from your own. Be open to new ideas and experiences, especially as it to relates to what your roommate brings into your life. That's why you went to college in the first place, right?!
8.Be open to change.
You should expect to learn and grown and change during your time at school. And the same should happen to your roommate, if all goes well. As the semester progresses, realize things will change for both of you. Be comfortable addressing things that unexpectedly come up, setting new rules, and being flexible to your changing environment.
9.Address things when they're big.
You may not have been totally honest with tip #2. Or you may suddenly find yourself with a roommate who goes wild after being shy and quiet the first two months. Either way, if something gets to be a big problem quickly,deal with it as soon as you can.
10.If nothing else, follow the Golden Rule.
Treat your roommate like you'd like to be treated. No matter what your relationship is at the end of the year, you can take comfort knowing you acted like an adult and treated your roommate with respect.
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